Aunt wants to use the wedding photographer to take personal family photos, the couple denies it, and now a family feud has been created: 'I said they are welcome to book their own photographer during the 2-hour gap, or they can toss us $1,000'

Author image for María Cetra
María Cetra • Writer
Sep 24, 2026 5:45 PM EDT

Wedding photographer: a photographer hired to take wedding pictures during the event. 

If you were planning your wedding and decided to invite your aunts and uncle, even though you don't have a strong relationship with them, and they decided to use your photographer to take family portraits DURING the wedding party. What would you do? Would you uninvite them, scream at them, just say no, or agree? These people had to actually deal with this. Luckily, they found out that the aunt wanted to pull this off before the wedding. But even with that. Why would someone want to do that? To be SO cheap that you even have the face to ask the couple's parents to do this is insane. Is not even crazy, is far more than that. It's your wedding day, and now you have to be looking out for your aunt ot trying to pull this off at the wedding? Is crazy. 

If I were in their situation, I would definitely uninvite them. They do not deserve to be at the wedding. And it would ease the couple's mind, as they don't have to be warning photographers not to start taking family photos for some distant family. I don't think any photographer that respects their job would agree to do this. But just in case, I would simply uninvite them. 

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  • 01

    If you aren't particularly close to your aunts and uncles, why even invite them to your wedding?

    I am getting married here soon and have had some interesting requests from my family. This one might take cake. I have about 5 aunts and uncles and my fiance has 5 aunts and uncles.... She has particularly 1 aunt she's extremely close with. Like she's practically her daughter that she never had. I on the other hand am not very close with any of them. I never was close with my cousins as they are much older than me. So I
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  • 02
    A wedding photographer taking a picture of the bride and groom. Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model.
    via Chris

    A wedding photographer taking a picture of the bride and groom. 

    Image shown for illustrative purposes; person depicted is a model. 

  • 03

    That is a horrible thing to have during your wedding, especially if you aren't close to your extended family, pushover parents. You are going to have to deal with a million problems because of that.

    never grew up very close with my aunts/ uncles and cousins. That said I still see them a few times a year. My parents are extreme push overs, like very very bad. They will let anyone walk over them and can't tell anyone No. Everyone knows this about them.... So, my aunt calls my mom and asks her since her and her family never get together and are going to be dressed up nice if they can pull
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  • 04

    This is so cheap. Like, it's a whole other level of cheap. Pay yourself a photographer.

    our wedding photographer aside and have her take family photos of them........... My mom calls my fiance and says this to her, she then laughs at my mom with my dad by the phone who this is his sister... my parents I guess seemed somewhat stunned about her answer and saying absolutely not. I also stand with her and said this an absurd ask and not fair to all the other families who are coming to our
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  • 05

    Because one aunt isn't cheap. On the contrary, is wanting to spend extra money for her niece. And the other is a cheapskate.

    wedding... mind you her closest aunt who had dropped thousands on throwing her a bridal party isn't even getting that nor is asking for that. If anyone should it be her. I called my parents and told them that was an insane ask and absolutely not. I said I'm not even close with them and that's the most cheapskate sh I've ever heard of. We also have a catholic wedding and have a 2 hour
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  • 06

    It's a good deal. Or just don't try to use the wedding photographer for your cheap family pictures, or give the couple $1000 for it.

    window between the reception. I said they are welcome to book their own photographer during the 2 hour gap or they can toss us $1,000. My parents seem very annoyed and upset and love to play the "it's family" card. They don't see the big deal if it takes just a few seconds but for me and my fiance it's the principle. Plus like I said it doesn't seem fair to everyone else especially those who are traveling long a far and we have closer relationships with.
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  • 07
    A photographer taking photos at a wedding. Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events.
    via Anastase Maragos

    A photographer taking photos at a wedding. 

    Scene is illustrative and does not depict actual individuals or events. 

  • 08

    That's exactly what they should be doing!

    monkeysmom100 Absolutely not the ah. If they would like to have family pictures taken, they can hire their own photographer like you suggested!
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  • 09

    Is insane that they even asked that.

    oldgrandma65 NTA. Professional family photos ot takes way more than a 'few seconds'. This is an insane behavior.
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  • 10

    No good wedding photographer, or at least one that respects their job, would accept to do this crazyness.

    pluvio_fille NTA. NOR. Talk to your photographer. This is not their job and they will back you up I'm sure. I have no doubt a good photographer will happily be the "bad guy" and let your extended family know they have a job to do and have no time to mess around taking family portraits when they have been hired to capture the wedding. If you have a planner or coordinator who will be present on the day fill
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  • 11
    them in too so they can run interference. They will likely step in and inform your Aunt the photographer is on a schedule and has pictures to take elsewhere in order to get the shots they need in keeping with the running order.
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  • 12

    Exactly. They wouldn't accept this. They were hired to just take pictures of the wedding, not also family portraits for another family.

    Narwhal DanceParty I'm not even sure the wedding photographer would say yes to this. It's more work for a client they don't have an agreement with. Usually the contract includes a set number of edited pictures and this would change the contract.
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  • 13

    If they wanted to hire the same photographer for a different day, then yes. But even for the same day is completely nuts.

    LemonAny7224 Ohhh, was totally teed up to go off on OP for gatekeeping the aunt from hiring photographer. C'mon. Be good to the photog and send some more business their way. What? She wants it DURING the wedding festivities??? NTA OP. Note to self: always read past the title...
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  • 14

    This is crazy. Some families are weird...

    ChampionshipBetter91 I ACTUALLY KNOW SOMEONE WHOSE STEPMOM DID THIS!!! When my friend got married, she hired a wedding photographer, who used an assistant photographer to roam and take candids while she, the main photographer, took the formal portraits. So after Friend and her new husband had their formal, posed pictures taken, she sees only the assistant
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  • 15

    The friends dragging the photographer into the wedding is hilarious but also completely insane.

    photographer roaming around, when the main photographer was supposed to be doing that, too. Only, the main photographer had been hijacked by the Friend's stepmother, to take formal, posed portraits of all of her family and friends. Friend and her new husband went and dragged the photographer back into the main wedding - but it was a WHOLE THING. For years afterwards, Friend and her
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  • 16

    So inappropriate!

    husband would sometimes go to dinner parties at these people's houses and see these portraits taken at their wedding prominently displayed. So weird. So inappropriate.
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  • 17

    Exactly! No photographer who respects their job would agree to do this.

    TheGoosiestGal NTA if I was a photographer and had to do a family photo s ot in the middle of a wedding id quit. Those are two very different types of shoots.
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Tags

wedding drama family feud cheapskate fiancee photographer
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